I'm bringing family back....

Ok so we went camping this weekend (not my idea it was the Hubby's) without the Dish so the kids were limited to your basic channels and a few didn't come in at all. It was a little chilly on Saturday night so we hung out in the camper. So here we are....me, J, G and the hubby hanging out in the camper. There was nothing on except........Lawrence Welk. Yep, we watched it and my kids loved it, it was one of the Halloween episodes. Here are a 10 and 7 year old watching the Lawrence Welk show and not complaining. I had to beg them to take a shower while it was on and they told me to tell them what they missed. They even want to start watching this every Saturday. I don't think we will be giving up the Dish any time soon.

What the hell is wrong with some parents???

Come one come all to dump off your unwanted children in Nebraska. I understand how parents get fed up with their kids. I do! My kids drive me crazy at times too, but that doesn't mean I am going to take a short drive across the river to dump them off in Omaha. (I remind them occasionally that Nebraska has a safe haven law). I chose to have my kids and can't imagine my life without them. Of course I have my days where I want to lock myself in the closet, except I know they would be on the other side of the door knocking and calling my name. I feel for the dad that had nine kids and couldn't provide for them and felt that the kids would be better off with someone else. But people there are services out there to help. And then there is the mom that drove her 13 year-old son from Michigan to Omaha. WTF! How can you drive 12 hours knowing you are going to dump off your kid. How does this make the kids feel? This truly upsets me. Oh and let me tell you about the parents (and I use the term loosely) from Spokane, Washington that wouldn't feed their 14 year-old daughter, when authorities found her she weighed 48 pounds. These people barely gave her water, she licked the condensation of the windows for God's sake. I don't get people!

Gas Gas Baby!!

Today I noticed that gas here in good ol' Iowa is $2.67 for regular unleaded but I can use E85 in my Tahoe and that gas is only$1.69!!!!!!!! I can't believe I am actually excited to pull up to the pump now. I just hope it stays down for awhile!!

Over and over again

Do you ever get tired of having the same conversation with someone over and over again? To the point where you want to yell "Seriously, we are not having this conversation AGAIN". It's the kind of conversation where you find yourself paying more attention to the TV and saying "yeah" and "I don't know". Then they catch you because those answers don't match with what they are saying or you don't even answer them at all because you were to busy daydreaming or watching something on TV. Shit! That's when you have to come up with a good lie explanation as to why you weren't paying attention. You know, something like "Sorry, I think someone is trying to break into my house". I know what you're thinking "Is she talking about me?" Nah!

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I think you know where I am going with this. Does your husband snore? Mine does. Let me put it this way for you. Last year our whole family was at my sister's house for Christmas. There was about 15 -20 of us sleeping in the basement (it looked like a homeless shelter). My husband was snoring so bad that my niece compared him to a sick dying cow (I don't have a clue when she has been near a sick dying cow). I have had many a sleepless nights due to his condition, sometimes he wakes me up with his snoring. Do you really need to be a surgeon to perform an adenoidectomy? A friend once suggested that I pour some liquid stop snoring medicine down his throat when he is sleeping. I thought about this for a moment, but knowing my luck he would aspirate and die. Then I would go to prison (where I would suffer from more than just lack of sleep) and my children would be put into the system. So I have just resorted to yelling at him to roll over, kicking him (ever so gently), or shoving nudging him lightly. I complain that I can't sleep because of his snoring and he complains he can't sleep because of my yelling at him. It's a viscous circle. It's a wonder I look so beautiful with the little sleep I get, but somehow I manage to pull it off.

Time to face reality

Ok, I admit it the time has come where I think my ass has taken over my body. This is becoming ridiculous and has to stop. I have reached an age where things are going south, literally. If only I could walk around with my arms above my head, so that my girls will be where they once were years ago. I am not saying they hang to my knees but I have noticed they aren't so perky lately. I won't take all of the blame though. I will put at least part of the blame on my kids, they did this to me. Not to mention the weight you gain during pregnancy but also when they don't eat everything on their plate. I feel obligated to eat the food so that nothing goes to waste, especially in today's economy. But enough is enough, I have decided it is time to start eating better and exercise, which I have started doing today. I am really tired of all the skinny bitches out there that complain how fat they are knowing full well they aren't. My goal one day is to become one of those bitches.













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It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights, It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

This is the conversation I had with Garrison this morning:

G: Mom I watched the Muppets Wizard of Oz last night.

Me: You did. You know I used to watch the Muppets when I was little.

G: (In complete amazement) You used to be a Muppet?

Me: No, I watched them when I was little.

G: Oh, ok.

Paula? Paula, I know you're up there.

This is what I heard coming from my downstairs. So I went to investigate.

Me: Who's there?

Elliptical Machine: Over here, it's me E.

Me: Oh....hey..you!

Elliptical: I haven't seen you in a while. Are you avoiding me? I used to make your heart race.

Me: Me? No, no way. I've been busy.

Elliptical: Are you mad at me? Is there someone else?

Me: No, not at all. I was just thinking about you the other day.

Elliptical: It's TV isn't it?

Me: Ok, I have been seeing a lot of him lately. Sorry.

Elliptical: So is your ass!

Me: Excuse me?

Elliptical: You heard me biotch.

Me: That is no way to treat me, especially if you want me to get me all worked up again.

Elliptical: Ok, you're right. So are we on for tomorrow?

Me: Yeah, sure.

I have a confession to make.....

I haven't told any of you this but I have been seeing someone else besides Target, his name is Sam. This is why I haven't been seeing Target as much lately. Please don't think any less of me or pass judgement, but I have to go where I can feel fulfilled and Sam does that for me. I get so much more out of Sam then I do Target. I will admit that Sam can't give me everything that I want so then I need to go to Target. I just needed to get this off my chest, I hope you understand how and why I need to do this.

It's happened.....I have become a blog stalker too

I will be the first to admit that I have made fun of Carrin for stalking these poor innocent people thru their blogs. But I too have become a blog stalker thanks to Carrin. I have actually started to stalk some of the same people. Let me tell you this is entertainment. There is some good stuff out there. Carrin told me that I would become addicted and it's true, I have.

I feel the pressure......

Ok, so Carrin has her Tell-it-all- Tuesdays, Adrienne has Flashback Fridays and now Tara has her question of the week, which I am calling Humpday Happenings. What is left for me??? Tattletale Thursdays or Funday Monday? Any suggestions?

Things I said this morning before 7:30 (my mornings are busy)

Time to get up
I am not going to tell you again
I am going to turn on the light if you don't get up
Get dressed
What do you want for breakfast?
What do you want for lunch?
Finish your breakfast
I am going to turn off the TV
Please get your socks on
You're not wearing shorts
Because I said
I don't care about everyone else, I am not everyone eles's mom
Get your shoes and coat on, please
Get your backpack
Let's go
Love you have a good day